Swipe NO!

In today's dating world, there is an interesting paradox: we're more connected than ever through social media, online networking, and dating sites, yet we're also more disconnected than ever. Today's technology makes communication faster, but I'm not sure it's better. You can't make a genuine connection with someone by texting, emailing, friending, following or swiping right.

When you meet someone in person and share a meal together, laugh and talk to each other, you see how that person interacts with you and the people around you. You observe their body language and how they carry themselves. That's where the REAL chemistry happens: face to face, one on one....or does it? 

To answer any questions out there, yes, I've had these experiences. The texting, emailing, friending, following and yes, Dear Lord, I have swiped right. ugh

Sometimes I want to ugly cry at the thought of it all.

Yes, I've even gone on dates. Good ones. Or at least I thought they were good. All with the intention of getting to know someone and with the hope that maybe that first date could turn into a second date, maybe a third or hell maybe we even start seeing each other regularly.

Instead, we go on said first date, maybe see each other a second time or third and then the inevitable starts to happen. I start to like him a little more each day because the person I am getting to know has not only caught my eye but also caught {and kept} my attention. But while he has my attention, the guy holding my hand is still also looking for the next best thing. 

So what have I missed here? I know I've been out of the game for a while trying to be a good mom but what happened to genuine connections and people being REAL and honest with each other? What happened to trying? What happened to people being too busy for good company and good conversation? Sometimes I think all of this online dating is eroding humanity. 

Really. What happened? 

My conclusion is simple: I want more.

That’s the problem right there. The infinite need and desire. Two words that can and usually are followed by another word or series of words that make things even more complicated.

What about the endless and countless times that you have fought tooth and nail to get to that sentence out then you just don’t know what to say after it. Mouth wide open for a silly little second after the “I want…” then the click of teeth on teeth as you close your mouth.

Most people don’t know what they want. I know I do. 

So, what do you do? 

You figure out what you need. Yes, the need.

Some people need more, some less.

What about me? What do I need?

Well, I have security; I have my son, I have the love of my family, I have friendships, I have my work, I have my passions, I have my own money, I have an education. I have a lot, more than many other people in the world. I have the opportunity.

What do I need?


To a certain extent.

But what about the wanting need? The need to find someone that's on the same page as you. The need to someday share your life with someone. The need to pass along the experiences of the world to your children. What about the need to accomplish something more. The need to learn and experience the world.

Psssssh, who knows. If you know, you are going after it. If you don’t, you find things to try and see if it’s something that fulfills the need.

One day at a time. One action at a time. One smile, one laugh. Eventually, each day you made worthwhile will then patchwork into a life of great experiences. Or so we can hope.

Until then, I will let all that I do not need to be enough. For I want much more than some can or want to give and that's ok. My someday will come and so I have bowed out of swiping right gracefully and for good. 

It's OK.

On Being a Single Mother.

On Being a Single Mother.