So THIS is 30.
So, I turned the big 3-0 (duh-duh-duhhhhhh!!). Whoa, I know. But my impression of other people my age is that a lot of them don’t want to talk about this milestone, let alone celebrate it. Maybe they don’t like getting older or maybe they don’t like acknowledging where and who they are at 30 compared to where and who they wanted to be. But you know something? I think I have a slightly different take on this whole whole turning 30 thing. I’m embracing it with open arms and feeling all kinds of different. And it’s weird because it’s just a number. It’s just another day. I was 29 Thursday and then 30 on Friday. Why should it feel SO different?
For me it feels SO different for SO many reasons. I feel like I have learned so much from 20 to 30. I have failed. I have fallen. But I also have grown. I have learned. And most of all I have stayed true to myself through ALL of it.
So…this is 30…
I think for too many people life is about becoming complacent. Your 20’s are about being able to have fun, find different ways to support yourself and become independent; typical life after college. Most people in their 30’s settle for that feeling of “this is my life, this is where I am”. Most people settle. Settling is easier. Letting that flame that keeps you discontent with anything but your dreams simply extinguish is like letting go of a large weight most people picked up in their youth and by 30 wonder why they are still holding.
In my own life, being a mix of fiercely practical, and conversely hopelessly romantic, the two sides of my mind battle with the idea of complacency; I think this truly is where my two parents intersect in my brain, the practical butting against the passionate.
Being a mother and now turning 30 fulfills a part of me that is constantly pushing for more. I feel myself always aspiring to be greater, to refine, to advance, and to constantly become a better version of ME.
Rejecting the “complacency” has lead into an “adulthood” that has been some of the most fulfilling and hardest years of my life. For me 25 to 30 has been an exercise in learning what kind of woman I want to be. Of all the questions in my life, I think this one has shaped up to be the most fulfilling to answer. The younger more rebellious girl in me reminds me of my goals as a youth, and the practical woman in me pushes me to be grateful for what I have and to “just relax.”
I photograph my life to remind myself to be thankful for all of the small things in it, and I write to let out all of the thoughts in my head that I can’t seem to say out loud; but I push myself every day so that I’m always getting better.
I recently heard this quote…
“To improve is to change. To perfect is to change often,” originally quoted by Winston Churchill.
It’s kind of stuck with me since I heard it, and even after sifting through hundreds of quotes for this post, I think that quote is the defining agenda for me going into 30.
It reminds me to push, to change, to be better, to struggle against complacency, to rage against giving up, and never EVER settle for anything short of my passions.
This is my 30…
Below are some photos from my most amazing BIRTH DAY and I am so incredibly grateful for all of the people in my life right now. It is going to be an amazing year. I can feeeeeeeel it!